My Girl

May 26, 2006

Hatsumomo turned 21 today. 21,000 miles, that is. And I've loved every single mile of it. Two trips to Baltimore/Washington, DC, countless drives to NYC, a gazzilion ups and downs the Turnpike. I ended up with her because someone totaled my old Protege while it was parked in front of my parents' house. The weekend I moved. I had to car shop and move in 2 days-I don't reccomend it. Hatsu was the only stick shift at the dealership, and it had arrived there by accident. It was love at first sight. I got called a "gear slamming hillbilly deluxe" during the test drive. And that's when I knew it was meant to be.

P.S. Why Hatsumomo? She's Japanese, she's beautiful, and she's evil. Hopefully she (and I, by default) won't be met with the same fate…..

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And It Flew…

May 25, 2006

Dead-weight, incompetent, uninterested co-worker got fired on Monday. Turns out she was trying to pull off some illeagal shit, and got caught.  I won't even go into how dumb she was to do that. She also really did suck at most things that were required of her. I'm just relieved she's gone. So is she, probably. So all is well….

Uncle Sam Wants You

May 17, 2006

The commercials are all over  the place, and they make me sick. What's the point of them paying for college, if you get deployed to Bhagdad mid-semester? What's the point of them giving your family a place to live, if you won't be living with them? What's the point of them providing free healthcare for your children, if they have to deal with the fact that you fucked them up because of PTSD (that's given the fact you get to live through it, of course)? I can keep going, but you get the point.

I am not a political person for the most part. I have a lot of respect for people who decide to join the Armed Forces. But is all this necessary? I know, I know, it's not simple. I'm stating the obvious. We all know the semantics, if not the details, of what's going on. Am I way too naive and idealistic to think that there is a better way to go about it?

Fetish

May 15, 2006

I am in love…. So what if they're ugly as hell?

Ordinary People

May 13, 2006

"We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go"

                                            John Legend
I met Tom on my birthday last year  (he's a friend of Dan's and Derrick's. Straight. Really.), and we ended up talking the whole night. Ignored everyone else most of the time. Exchanged phone numbers, spoke a few times. I was supossed to call  back one night, but never did. Yeah, I dropped the ball. I don't know why. Soooo me. We never spoke again.

Until this weekend. Saw him at Derrick's birthday (do you homos do anything else but celebrate? with lots of alcohol?). We ended up talking the whole time again. He's engaged now. They met online. She moved from Southern California to be with him. Mad props to her. I wouldn't even call him back. He's a great guy. Smart, sweet, cute. What the hell is wrong with me?!?

Such conversations are much easier to be had when they're influenced by bad free brunch drinks. So after getting sponsored by mimosas and peach bellinis I hear him telling me he always wondered about me. About what could have been. I told him not to think of it that way. I told him there was no wrong or right answer, just options. He seemed happy, and that's what's important, I said. He agreed.

Shit, I want someone to feel I'm worth a cross-country relocation. The whole encounter put me in a really weird state of mind. It was nice to know he wasn't upset I never called back (some people are like that). It was nice to hear he thought I was worth the time, and had there not been someone else he would have given it another go. It was encouraging to know that people still look for love, and believe it is  something worth moving to the other end of the country for. Who would leave Southern Cali, fer Christsake? For a boy? I wish I had the balls to do that. Or maybe it's faith I'm lacking….

Yeah, I realize that I am essentially expecting something that I myself would never do. And that's where the problem comes from. I don't want to be one of those single women who can tell from a mile away if a guy's wearing a wedding band (I know some of those, and they are a scary breed). I'm not bitter now, but who's to say I won't acquire that particular trait at some point?  I need to keep myself in check.

BTW, I have rockin' byceps, and slammin' legs. I love the gym. Next-abs of steel….  

For No Reason

May 13, 2006

"It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go"

                                                       Flake by Jack Johnson
I was as work late today, by myself in the office, so of course I had the music blasting (I was also wearing sweatpants). This was one of the songs that came on. I know, not a song to be blasted, but it seemed strangely appropriate….. Still have it on the brain……

P.S. I accomplished a lot more in the time I wore sweatpants than I did wearing a freakin suit. Go figure….

VENTING!!!!!

May 11, 2006

How do you deal with a completely incompetent, uninterested, dead-weight coworker? One of us is on vacation, and she and I were supossed to share the extra workload. Somehow she hasn't learned shit in 6 weeks of training (I got 3 days), and she had the gall to leave at 5 because "my daughter can't stay home by herself. I have a family, priorities…"- a direct quote. Her daughter is 14. My boss was PISSED. And I guess since I only have a deadbeat husband I get to stay late, those are my priorities. I was actually the last to leave. I'm a fuckin' accountant in training, and I have keys for the goddamn place. The two managers and me. 'Cause I stay late. Screw me, it's my own fault. The office manager has been helping, though. She comes in at like, 6 am, and today she left late, too. As for the lazy one, I'm done covering her ass. Let shit fly.

Viva La Mexico

May 6, 2006

Unlike previous years, I opted to stay home tonight. Not enough stamina to go out and drink, work kicked my ass this week. In honor of The Holiday, though, here is my favorite Cinco De Mayo story:

This is 3 years ago. I am out with a bunch of my friends at Marita's Cantina, a Mexican Restaurant in New Brunswick. It is a week night, and I have to open the store the next morning (this is back in the AE days), so Candace, Dan, and I leave at around Midnight after having a few drinks. Some more than others. Candace drives me home (even though I lived only 4 blocks away back then), and says she will drive Dan home as well (in Perth Amboy), who is severely inebriated (his natural state at the time, really).

Dan calls me at work the next day, excited:

Sofa, I just woke up with 3(three!!!) sombreros and a piñata head in my bead. What did we do last night?

I called Candace after the hysterical laughter subsided. She swears she dropped Dan at his house after they left mine. Somehow drunk Dan, who doesn't drive to begin with, made his way back to New Brunswick (about 15 miles), crashed some Slutgers party, and then made his way back home again. With the sombreros and the piñata. Greedy fuck. And he doesn't remember any of it. We still don't know what happened. To this day I imagine him, waking up in his bed with the colorful paper head next to him, like the fuckin' Godfather….

We Throw Good Party

May 2, 2006

My mom turned 60 last Tuesday (and she looks damn good, I hope I got those genes), and my sister and I wanted to do something nice for her. For those of you who don't know my mom-she does not like it when you spend money on her. She yells at us when we get her something, even if it's something she actually needs. She does not do her hair or nails. She does not wear makeup. And she has no patience for a massage.

So with the risk of pissing her off we decided to throw her a surprise party on Sunday. My sister stopped by to say "HI" Tuesday night. I couldn't be there because I ended up closing the dealership and had a banging headache, to boot. I called to wish her a happy birthday. And we both left it at that. I know she got a bit annoyed because she was telling my sister about the special plans all her friends had made for her. Hehe….

So Sunday afternoon rolls around. Mommy and Daddy are coming over for leftovers from a "luncheon" my sister had hosted earlier that day. They come over with the interntion of weeding the lawn, assembling the new gas grill my sister got at Home Depot last week, and maybe fix the fridge in the basement that had gone out the night before (yes, they do everything in the house; we actually started calling them Jose and Consuelo in honor of the recent Immigration conflict). Lo and Behold, we actually managed to surprise them both. We hadn't told Dad because he really can't keep a secret. Especially from my mom. There were about 15 people in the back yard (and my mom likes them all), all there just for her.

There was a lot of food. Mark actually grilled for 3 hours, and Monika and I cooked for two days straight. Two cakes-both were eaten. Everyone was happy. Especially the Birthday Girl. And her husband, of course. It was such a relief to see them both smile, and not worry about stuff that needs to be done in, on, or around the house. Mom actually managed to not even run the dishwasher all night. Pretty impressive for my mom, you know.

Pictures will be posted as soon as I find the cable that hooks the camera to Monika's laptop….

P.S. Feel free to come over for leftovers.

P.S.S. Tina is blogging drunk…. hehehe. Maybe next time.

Where The Heart Is

May 1, 2006

I was talking to someone at work about Bulgaria yesterday, and without realizing it, I called it "home". As in, "I haven't been home in four years". Realistically speaking, very little ties me to the place at this point in time, for better or worse. The most important people-my parents and sister-are here. Even though I was born in Bulgaria (and proud of it), the majority of my formative years were spent in New Jersey. Freudian Slip?

I have lost touch with most of my Bulgarian friends, and for that I only have myself to blame. I have a problem keeping in touch with people who live right next to me, let alone people on the other side of the world. My extended family is very big, and I don't know most of them anyway. The ones I do know I was never close with. One of the few people I loved and cherished passed away in February. And I couldn't go see her. Even though I really wanted to.

So what in Hell possessed me to call it "home"? Maybe I just associate the place with simpler, happier times. First BFF (обичам те, изроде). First stick-shift  lessons (eternally grateful for those, will never drive an automatic). First time to leave the country without my parents (pictures of those trips are WAY too compromising; I'd never be able to run for office). First (and only) speech therapy sessions (I stutter and I have a lisp). First BIG almost-adult love (sorry, no link for him; he's married now, anyway). And the BEST food in the World, EVER.

I have lots of bad memories, too, but more on that some other time. Some people say it has gotten better, others say it has gotten worse. It depends on your outlook, just like everything else, I guess. The place is so political, you can hardly tell sometimes. Or maybe I've just gotten used to American apathy, and any formed opinion seems political to me.

Regardless, it would be nice to feel like a kid for a bit. To be carefree for a week or two in a place that is actually familiar to me. To drive like a maniac and not obey trafic laws (oh, wait, I get to do that here). To eat whatever I feel like and not feel guyilty about it (man, they make the best pizza, ever… and chocolate). To rollerblade downtown and dodge the people walking by. To fall in love again (Bulgarian boys are cute). To get to know that huge family of mine….

Four years is a long time. So, perhaps it's time to go "home".