Half Crazy

March 25, 2006

“Lately I gotta watch what I say
Cause you take things personally nowadays
You used to laugh now you get mad
Damn I just want my friend back”

                                                     Musiq (Soulchild)


Traffic Patterns

March 24, 2006

George and I were talking last night-yes, we can be civil with each other-and he was telling me about one of his classes. Apparently, in order to get a degree in Civil Engineering, one has to learn the propler way to time traffic lights, and other such useless minutia, in the true spirit of a modern college education. One thing led to another, and we began talking about driving, and traffic, and how bad it really is. He has no idea how lucky he is he gets to use public transportation and has no use for a car. In New Jersey that is a very rare exception. I, on the other hand, travel about 60 miles round trip a day. We live in one of the most populated places on this Planet. Plus, Newark Airport is not even a mile away. So are Ikea and a HUGE Outlet Mall. Driving here is like survival of the fittest. So this is what I get to deal with, in no particular order:

1. The Illegal Mexicans(and other South/Central Americans) with the uninsured 20-year-old suped up stick shift Rice Burners with the “La Cucaracha” honkers. Apparently, in that end of the World signaling is optional…..

2. The Limo Service Drivers who think they have the right of way because they drive big, black vehicles that can be mistaken for civie Police cars. They always seem to stake you out so they can cut you off….

3. The Staten Island Guido Soccer Moms who pay the bridge toll and shop tax-free. They never know where they should go, so they just wander in the middle of the road to look for signs that lead to the Goethals Bridge. Apparently the rest of us have no jobs, either, or a place to be, so we should just wait….

4. The NYC Cabbies who think they are still in Manhattan and drive like assholes, as if they know where they are going…..

5. 16-wheelers…. Oh, man, they are ruthless. They seem to feel that rules do not apply to them. Bigger is not always better.

6. The Tony Soprano Wannabes who think that they can do whatever because they have expensive cars. Speed all you want, asshole. Just don’t get me involved. Oh, yeah, you do not have a dead body in your trunk. Or a hot chick 20 years younger next to you. Get over the Midlife Crisis….

That’s the basic jist of what I go through every morning. I wish I lived closer to work. I’m gonna have to do something…. Soon. Before I induse myself into a heart attack…..

Every Day is Howie Day

March 23, 2006

“You’re barely waken

 And I’m tangled up in you…”


I will not openly admit I listen to the God Damned song every day. I will not admit to owning his albums. If you ask me why I have a ticket stub for his concert in NYC last August I will tell you I took my friend, who really likes him(she really does, BTW). I will not admit his stupid music is part of the reason my expectations in relationships are so high… No, do not mistake this for a crush. I have a crush on Jack Johnson(Yummy Political Surfer Dude), Dave Grohl(have a things for drummers), and Bob Burnquist(Brazilian Skater Dude-like a better version of Marco). And Tom Selleck(no explanation necessary, I think). Not Howie Day. Howie Day is The Average Goofy White Guy. And that’s why his music really gets to me, I think…. So there it is. I have fucked up relationships because of Howie Day.

I like….

March 23, 2006

sofia —     


A person of questionable sanity who starts their own cult

‘How”>http://www.quizgalaxy.com/quiz.php?id=83″>’How will you be defined in the dictionary?’ at http://www.quizgalaxy.com” style=”color: #FF0000;”>QuizGalaxy.com

The links got fucked up…. Copy and paste…. Thank you, Tina. BTW, cute, cute puppy…. Much cuter than the Steves. Will have to come over for fur therapy. Tried leaving you a comment, but the server was down. Happy Hour one of those days?


March 23, 2006

I’m not quite sure when I became the relationship synic I am. An old college friend of mine (old college friend? damn…) said it best, I think- “Chris just may have fucked you up more than your own parents”. I laughed at the time, but it seems now that he may have been right. I weigh that particular experience against everything that happens to me, the way I get treated. And I realize it’s fucked up a lot of good things. It’s fucking up one right now.

I was asked last night, after another bitter argument, what it was I wanted. And for the first time, I had no answer. Not even a smart-ass one. I could not answer. I just couldn’t bring myself to. And it hurt. Because in my mind what I wanted from that person had lately been a clearly defined idea. Turning that idea into reality, however, is proving rather difficult. It seems that the more we try to understand one another the more pain we inflict upon ourselves. We are a textbook definition of a power struggle. And it’s bringing out the worst in us both.

I keep thinking that if I had the opportunity I would speak my mind clearly, I would make perfect sense, and I would be understood. That is such unrealistic bullshit, however. I have plenty of opportunities to speak. I just blow them all. I come across as an incoherent, petulant child. Great…. I am so frustrated with myself and the situation, I don’t know what to do anymore. What to say or how to say it. I keep hoping that what I am feeling will just materialize itself in words, and then neither of us would have to suffer. I have been agonizing about how to bring this situation into existence, and frankly, it’s making me even more crazy in the head than I already was. It turns out it is me who is driving me nuts. Not someone else….. Fuck, I wish I could get over myself already….


Ooops…. I did it again

March 16, 2006

If my trainer knew that I am sitting here in the middle of the night hugging a jar of Nutella he would have my gym membership publicly revoked. I am weak. I cannot help myself. May the Gym God have mercy on my soul…

No Net

March 16, 2006

Some of the Sales kids were checking out naked ladies on the Net (at work), so the owner of the company decided to block all access. I can go to a bunch of cites-mostly automotive, credit checking, etc…, but that is about it. I can’t even check out the competition…. Fuck, it sucks. I can’t do anything. Who looks at porn at work, anyway? Even I wouldn’t do that. I work with a bunch of morons. Don’t believe me? Keep reading….

1. The kid who went to the gas station and drove off with the gas pump nozzle still inside the tank. Of a $37,000 brand-new vehicle. Not his. His reply to the boss when he came back to the dealership? “Mybe they didn’t notice…”

2. The kid who got locked inside the holding lot (the lot at the dealership is way too small to suport our inventory, so we have another one about a mile away, which is fenced and gated), and did not think to call anyone to go open the gate for him. He just sat there for a few hours and waited for us to notice he was missing. Problem is, he dissapears so much that no one really cared he was gone anyway. I’m pretty sure he smoked a joint or two in the process of being absent. I think he might have done the whole thing on purpose ’cause he didn’t feel like doing anything.

3. One of our Sales Managers found a crack pipe in the RL demo (a $54,000 vehicle), showed it around, and after getting a few good chuckles from people threw it in the trash. He said it was most likely a customer’s. What kind of person who can afford that car smokes crack? Fuck, no, it was one of ours, and it was obvious. I would have sent that shit for DNA testing.

4. The receptionist who will page Mr. Hugh Jess, Mr. Ben Dover, or Mr. Mike Hutz. It works every time. She has been with the company for about 4 months now and still hasn’t figured it out. Hell, I could be sitting with my cell right in front of her, calling, and she still wouldn’t figure it out. Yes, she’s blond. Frankly, I have never seen such a strong case for the Blond Girl before.

5. The Parts dude who was trying to see if we had some rims for a TL in stock, and instead ended up ordering 100 wheels for a TL. The freight alone cost the company about $1,200. Not to mention that we had to send them back….

I can’t even make this shit up. This is what I get to work with on a daily basis. The sad part is that they have to deal with customers. They are supossed to help customers. How well do you think that goes over?

So they block the Internet. Now I can’t write here as often. I can’t read other people’s blogs. I can’t check my hotmail email. I can’t shop. I have no idea what is going on in this world because I don’t watch TV. It sucks. All because of some T&A&P. Isn’t that how it usually works out, though?